Dave,

I must admit, after feeling the freedom of not "having" to be disciplined, or "do devotions", I am being drawn back to such things by purpose, not law. I loved your last posting, by the way!

My default mode of perceiving life has been through the lenses of a rationalist. My head is the CEO of my life, with veto power over other systems. But I'm starting to think a little differently now about how I process life- mainly in two ways.

1. Wholistic Reality. I'm starting to see the world as a giagantic system, spinning and swirling, living, reproducing, moving on its own, in some kind of chaotic pattern, held together and guided by the Word who created it. This is very different than starting with what I know, and developing other categories (or academic disciplines) through which I filter knowledge. Our education system tries to construct a neat framework of shelves, and then spends the rest of its existence putting everything on its proper shelf. We ingest information, run it through our intellectual digestive system, and use it appropriately. Anything that doesn't work with the system is quietly defocated in a closed room. Instead, wouldn't it be great to view the world as a huge reality, an open system where God and humans and animals and plants and inanimate objects all exist, and go about their business. Our focus shifts toward our being part of the universe rather than having to process and possess the universe.

This way of thinking would relieve the burdens of many. First, the rationalist wouldn't need to be so frustrated. Because nobody knows everything, so you might as well take that pressure off your scholarly back now. Be content to be a part... seeking and learning... inhaling and exhaling (so the plants can inhale your exhale)... working and making a living... living life to the fullest... enjoying relationships with other people (and God)... giving and taking in proper balance... setting other values higher than education, like honor, humility, compassion.

2. The other way I've been thinking beyond my rationalism (haha) is best described as the functionalist perspective. Instead of trying to make ultimate sense out of a situation, I've just looked at its function, and left the ultimate understanding to God. For example, I've been feeling lonely,doubting my life, and questioning if God has someone for me. So instead of assessing why I feel this way and trying to fix it, I forced myself to get involved with a group of people my age. Just hang out. Do. There is amazing redemption in doing. I know that I want the fruits of the spirit in my life, so why not do the things that help them grow? Another example is walking in the woods. I have a real internal drive to be alone in nature. And I've been asking myself why I have it. What am I really searching for in life that I think I'll find in the woods? What is my deeper longing? What is the true nature of nature, and why do I feel fulfilled there? How much time can I afford to be there, versus in society? But then today, I just took a walk in the woods and enjoyed it. Not trying to think why or when. It served an important function, quite apart from my thinking about why it did. I think the ultimate understanding can be left to God. I'll investigate, but not at the expense of letting real life ebb away in the process.

I'm thankful to be caught up in this reality, living in it, and thankful that we were born in the same generation, Dave.

-Jarod