Melancholia
FROM DAVID:
I agree with professor Horst also on his point that personalities like ours tend
to want to take the grief of the world upon our own shoulders. Part of it stems from my
belief that I can handle it, a sort of "bring it on" mentality. I want to know at what
point I will break from the deep sorrow, so I continue to test myself. But that is not
the reason entirely. I also observe the way others deal with pain - downplaying its
existence, hiding it, and even denying it. Yet it seems that so few people
actually let the pain run its course through their lives, enduring it courageously.
On the other hand, my tendency is to linger in the pain a little too long. I
try to make the most of this weakness, though. Some of my times of greatest strength
happen after I have dwelt in the pool of sadness and let it drive me to some action of
reaching out to another. And I know the motive is pure. Going back to this pool
reminds me that I have nothing to gain by my actions, my life fades from me.
But drinking from it refreshes me, because it destroys in me any comfort I once
tried to take in anything other than the Creator. When I let its cleansing run through
my life, I feel empowered to serve others with pure intent.
Again, it is important that I do not drink too heavily from it (lingering in
self-pity, assuming a negative outlook), instead protecting myself from its ill-use.