Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Marriage and sex
FROM JAROD:
You’re right. We can’t dwell in Melancholy for too long… so let’s move on. How about we talk about sex. I think this would be an appropriate topic for “The Guy Project.” Remember, the only rules for this discussion are honesty, frankness and love. (Those are my rules anyway… I just made them up.) That is just to say that no censoring will be done to this original text.
During the recent men’s retreat, the speaker took us down helpful paths of dealing with lustful thoughts. I especially liked the idea of projection of sexual thoughts into marriage. I feel that this would be a positive option for me. “Would” is the key word. I’m not with anyone right now, so I can’t rightfully project anyone into marriage, without choosing whatever random girl attracts me for the moment. Thus, a large part of me is impractical. By this I mean two things:
1. I am a sexual being. Among all the things God has created me to be, (a spiritual being, an intellectual person, an athlete) I am a sexual creature. A significant part of who I am was made for sex.
2. That part of me is impractical. It has no practice right now. It’s not getting any action- not currently fulfilling its purpose. Is it simply that I’m not mature enough? I don’t think so. Men are very aware that their peak years are during college. And these golden years are drifting by….
But that’s fine. I probably could have been married by now if I wanted. Our culture pushes this kind of thing back more and more. (The only exception is, many of those who don’t follow Christ just have sex anyway, so marriage is not crucial.) I’m willing to wait, to live a full life even though I’m not acting in the fullness of who I could be if this Sexual Jarod was allowed to participate in my life. Call it my commitment to myself, my wife, my God.
So what do I say to myself and guys in my state? “Sex…..yeah right….. in your dreams.” Literally. Enjoy them. They’re the only action you’re going to get for now.
Don’t destroy the sexual you. Just bring it into obedience with where the rest of you is going. Some day your sexual you will have his way, and what a day, glorious day, that will be.
You’re right. We can’t dwell in Melancholy for too long… so let’s move on. How about we talk about sex. I think this would be an appropriate topic for “The Guy Project.” Remember, the only rules for this discussion are honesty, frankness and love. (Those are my rules anyway… I just made them up.) That is just to say that no censoring will be done to this original text.
During the recent men’s retreat, the speaker took us down helpful paths of dealing with lustful thoughts. I especially liked the idea of projection of sexual thoughts into marriage. I feel that this would be a positive option for me. “Would” is the key word. I’m not with anyone right now, so I can’t rightfully project anyone into marriage, without choosing whatever random girl attracts me for the moment. Thus, a large part of me is impractical. By this I mean two things:
1. I am a sexual being. Among all the things God has created me to be, (a spiritual being, an intellectual person, an athlete) I am a sexual creature. A significant part of who I am was made for sex.
2. That part of me is impractical. It has no practice right now. It’s not getting any action- not currently fulfilling its purpose. Is it simply that I’m not mature enough? I don’t think so. Men are very aware that their peak years are during college. And these golden years are drifting by….
But that’s fine. I probably could have been married by now if I wanted. Our culture pushes this kind of thing back more and more. (The only exception is, many of those who don’t follow Christ just have sex anyway, so marriage is not crucial.) I’m willing to wait, to live a full life even though I’m not acting in the fullness of who I could be if this Sexual Jarod was allowed to participate in my life. Call it my commitment to myself, my wife, my God.
So what do I say to myself and guys in my state? “Sex…..yeah right….. in your dreams.” Literally. Enjoy them. They’re the only action you’re going to get for now.
Don’t destroy the sexual you. Just bring it into obedience with where the rest of you is going. Some day your sexual you will have his way, and what a day, glorious day, that will be.
Comments:
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A speculated history of the information necessary to help our lustful fantasies
-
Is it a cop-out to say that lusting in this time period is much easier than it
has ever
been in history? From the earliest civilizations, promiscuity reared its head
in ritual
prostitution. Later, when Christianity became the main religion in the West,
prostitution was looked down upon. Often it was banned. Those
sex-hungry
guys had to be creative and secretive in order to satisfy their urges..
The risk of
getting caught was significantly higher, and the chance for disease also
factored in.
Of course if a guy didn't want to go through all that trouble and his
imagination still
was not good enough for him, there was literature he could indulge in (though
many in the
Middle Ages were illiterate).
Fast-forward to the era after the invention of the camera. In the 1800's our
Christian
society was able to highly censor adult magazines, but those who had the right
connections found access to them. Underground dealers probably had a steady
stream of
business due to the highly consistent demand rate for such a product.
In the mid-20th century society was introduced to Playboy, which many men
secretly
subscribed to or bought at the local market. The magazine was still a tangible
object,
and so was the receipt.
I will skip the movie phenomenon and go right to the information age that are
now in.
This problem has only existed for the last ten years, but it most definitely is
a
problem. Up to this point in history, Internet pornography is the safest,
simplest way
to keep a sex-addiction fed. The amount of pictures and movies that one can
view, free
or paid for, is nearly limitless, and this all in the comfort of your own home.
In all
other lust scenarios, the person had to go out of his way to find the
promiscuity that
would satisfy his desires. Now it can happen at the same moment as checking
your e-mail
or researching for a paper.
Internet pornography is easy...too easy
What is the answer? As Christian men in the 21st century, how do we fight this
foe?
Some are blessed by God with the strength to turn their heads and never look
again, but
others are not so fortunate. We have seen too much already. We know what’s out
there,
and that memory is our bane for the next time we are spiritually, physically, or
emotionally drained.
Take it from me, a guy who's tried accountability partners, Bible memorization,
nights
spent in prayers, and charitable acts, all the while hoping that I would be able
to say
no to the immorality that so easily entangles. I do not always make it.
Sometimes the
odds seem insurmountable.
If I were a man living for God during the early 20th century, would I have
attended a
burlesque show? I would probably say no. But
Internet pornography is easy...too easy
I have seen much progress, but I'm not there yet.
As I write this, I think about the many Christian men who do not have the
luxuries I have
- surrounded by accountability with my Christian brothers, constant spiritual
food
through services and chapels, and an RD who can monitor my internet logging. I
realize
how imminent graduation is. Soon I'll be out on my own, without all the safety
nets I
mentioned above. What is the answer? Have our men become weak? How will we
fight this
battle? The admittance of even being in this battle betrays our weaknesses, so
we don't
even talk about it many times. I believe the Spirit wants to set us free from
this
bondage, so we must continue to try. The enemy would have me believe that it is
beyond
my power to say no, therefore I must not give up.
God help me make the right choice today, a choice that will make it easier to
choose
right tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I don't know when this will
end, but I
know that its going to end.
- Anonymous
Post a Comment
-
Is it a cop-out to say that lusting in this time period is much easier than it
has ever
been in history? From the earliest civilizations, promiscuity reared its head
in ritual
prostitution. Later, when Christianity became the main religion in the West,
prostitution was looked down upon. Often it was banned. Those
sex-hungry
guys had to be creative and secretive in order to satisfy their urges..
The risk of
getting caught was significantly higher, and the chance for disease also
factored in.
Of course if a guy didn't want to go through all that trouble and his
imagination still
was not good enough for him, there was literature he could indulge in (though
many in the
Middle Ages were illiterate).
Fast-forward to the era after the invention of the camera. In the 1800's our
Christian
society was able to highly censor adult magazines, but those who had the right
connections found access to them. Underground dealers probably had a steady
stream of
business due to the highly consistent demand rate for such a product.
In the mid-20th century society was introduced to Playboy, which many men
secretly
subscribed to or bought at the local market. The magazine was still a tangible
object,
and so was the receipt.
I will skip the movie phenomenon and go right to the information age that are
now in.
This problem has only existed for the last ten years, but it most definitely is
a
problem. Up to this point in history, Internet pornography is the safest,
simplest way
to keep a sex-addiction fed. The amount of pictures and movies that one can
view, free
or paid for, is nearly limitless, and this all in the comfort of your own home.
In all
other lust scenarios, the person had to go out of his way to find the
promiscuity that
would satisfy his desires. Now it can happen at the same moment as checking
your e-mail
or researching for a paper.
Internet pornography is easy...too easy
What is the answer? As Christian men in the 21st century, how do we fight this
foe?
Some are blessed by God with the strength to turn their heads and never look
again, but
others are not so fortunate. We have seen too much already. We know what’s out
there,
and that memory is our bane for the next time we are spiritually, physically, or
emotionally drained.
Take it from me, a guy who's tried accountability partners, Bible memorization,
nights
spent in prayers, and charitable acts, all the while hoping that I would be able
to say
no to the immorality that so easily entangles. I do not always make it.
Sometimes the
odds seem insurmountable.
If I were a man living for God during the early 20th century, would I have
attended a
burlesque show? I would probably say no. But
Internet pornography is easy...too easy
I have seen much progress, but I'm not there yet.
As I write this, I think about the many Christian men who do not have the
luxuries I have
- surrounded by accountability with my Christian brothers, constant spiritual
food
through services and chapels, and an RD who can monitor my internet logging. I
realize
how imminent graduation is. Soon I'll be out on my own, without all the safety
nets I
mentioned above. What is the answer? Have our men become weak? How will we
fight this
battle? The admittance of even being in this battle betrays our weaknesses, so
we don't
even talk about it many times. I believe the Spirit wants to set us free from
this
bondage, so we must continue to try. The enemy would have me believe that it is
beyond
my power to say no, therefore I must not give up.
God help me make the right choice today, a choice that will make it easier to
choose
right tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I don't know when this will
end, but I
know that its going to end.
- Anonymous
# posted by 
: 6:07 PM
: 6:07 PM<< Home
