Marriage and sex
FROM JAROD:
You’re right. We can’t dwell in Melancholy for too long… so let’s move on. How about we talk about sex. I think this would be an appropriate topic for “The Guy Project.” Remember, the only rules for this discussion are honesty, frankness and love. (Those are my rules anyway… I just made them up.) That is just to say that no censoring will be done to this original text.
During the recent men’s retreat, the speaker took us down helpful paths of dealing with lustful thoughts. I especially liked the idea of projection of sexual thoughts into marriage. I feel that this would be a positive option for me. “Would” is the key word. I’m not with anyone right now, so I can’t rightfully project anyone into marriage, without choosing whatever random girl attracts me for the moment. Thus, a large part of me is impractical. By this I mean two things:
1. I am a sexual being. Among all the things God has created me to be, (a spiritual being, an intellectual person, an athlete) I am a sexual creature. A significant part of who I am was made for sex.
2. That part of me is impractical. It has no practice right now. It’s not getting any action- not currently fulfilling its purpose. Is it simply that I’m not mature enough? I don’t think so. Men are very aware that their peak years are during college. And these golden years are drifting by….
But that’s fine. I probably could have been married by now if I wanted. Our culture pushes this kind of thing back more and more. (The only exception is, many of those who don’t follow Christ just have sex anyway, so marriage is not crucial.) I’m willing to wait, to live a full life even though I’m not acting in the fullness of who I could be if this Sexual Jarod was allowed to participate in my life. Call it my commitment to myself, my wife, my God.
So what do I say to myself and guys in my state? “Sex…..yeah right….. in your dreams.” Literally. Enjoy them. They’re the only action you’re going to get for now.
Don’t destroy the sexual you. Just bring it into obedience with where the rest of you is going. Some day your sexual you will have his way, and what a day, glorious day, that will be.
Melancholia
FROM DAVID:
I agree with professor Horst also on his point that personalities like ours tend
to want to take the grief of the world upon our own shoulders. Part of it stems from my
belief that I can handle it, a sort of "bring it on" mentality. I want to know at what
point I will break from the deep sorrow, so I continue to test myself. But that is not
the reason entirely. I also observe the way others deal with pain - downplaying its
existence, hiding it, and even denying it. Yet it seems that so few people
actually let the pain run its course through their lives, enduring it courageously.
On the other hand, my tendency is to linger in the pain a little too long. I
try to make the most of this weakness, though. Some of my times of greatest strength
happen after I have dwelt in the pool of sadness and let it drive me to some action of
reaching out to another. And I know the motive is pure. Going back to this pool
reminds me that I have nothing to gain by my actions, my life fades from me.
But drinking from it refreshes me, because it destroys in me any comfort I once
tried to take in anything other than the Creator. When I let its cleansing run through
my life, I feel empowered to serve others with pure intent.
Again, it is important that I do not drink too heavily from it (lingering in
self-pity, assuming a negative outlook), instead protecting myself from its ill-use.
