Man in the Moon
FROM JAROD:
I agree with you, gender does somewhat shape how one view’s God’s will. I would also throw in the elements of personality and religious tradition. My personality and views tend to be more like yours…. I have a great deal of freedom. Yet, in practice, I often find myself (especially in a tough decision) seeking His specific will more candidly. I find the interplay of destiny, choice and prayer an interesting mystery. I believe in all the components I have just mentioned, but am unsure of how they work. I still think God’s will is best seen through hind sight.
And now, if I may…. Onto a new topic I’m entitling “The Moon in the Man.” I find that there are a few guys (usually strange ones, like myself, and maybe you, I think) who tend to be pensive, melancholy- the kind of guy that can stare at the lonely face in a full moon and feel strangely comforted by its sorrow. This kind of “black bile” (the philosopher’s plague) swirls in my heart from time to time. And I don’t think it’s bad.
How does this moon characteristic manifest itself? Maybe writing songs in minor keys. Maybe poetry. Maybe painting. Perhaps in watching thoughtful movies or listening to reflective music. Maybe in walking alone (Lamentations 3:27-29). Dr. Horst spoke of this very eloquently yesterday. He is also one who deeply feels the agonies of the world. Perhaps there are women who have this bent too, but I find it more stereotypical in guys.
So, what to make of this moon in the man? First, we relate to God differently because of it. All is not joy. There is sorrow….profound sorrow. And it is not (should not be) easily glazed over with religious optimism. Do not mistake my intent here, because I believe strongly in hope and a redemptive joy that permeates the Christian life. But behind the singing is a whisper of weeping.
Girls may never understand this. For it is true that I can grieve and still love God. I can bout with the tragedies that be, and still be a victorious disciple. Maybe this is where girls (or one special one) comes in handy….to keep guys like me from falling off the deep end and drowning in my sorrow (except I still haven’t found that one yet.)
To close, I want to spit out some random lines from various Rich Mullins songs:
“If I stand, let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through.
And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you.
If I sing, let me sing for the joy that has bore in me these songs.
And if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home.”
”Nobody tells you, when you get born here, how much you’ll come to love it- and how you’ll never belong here… so I’ll sing my song, in the land of my sojourn.”
”Joy and sorrow are this ocean, with its every ebb and flow. Now the Lord a door has opened, that all hell could never close. Here we’re tested and made worthy. Tossed about and lifted up- in this reckless, raging fury that they call the love of God.”
“Did You ever know loneliness? Did You ever know need? Do You remember just how long a night can get? When You were barely holding on and Your friends fall asleep
And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat. Will those who mourn be left uncomforted? While You're up there just playing hard to get?”
”It’s okay to be lonely as long as you’re free.”
