Jarod,
It's been over a year since posting on this blog. So much has changed, I think, including settling down with some thoughts and emotions and finding solidity in both of our lives. We both have God to thank for that.
As I was reading through some of our old posts, I got a little nauseous at the amount of self-indulgence that happens when wallowing in one's own thoughts...
Last night I was chatting with an urban revolutionary who lives in Buffalo, NY. His dreadlocked hair helps him stand out and confirms others' assumptions of his hippie ideals. But he is consumed with a passion for the advancement of the Kingdom of God. He and his wife relocated with dreams of starting a neighborhood garden that will create jobs for the neighborhood, as well as advance ideas of freedom and rejection of the harsh capitalist systems that so often contribute to the low self-esteem of the under-priveliged. Their project,
http://queencityfarm.org, is ripe with opportunity in the area where they are.
I have a friend who lives on the East Side of Columbus. For the past three years, he has volunteered massive amounts of time in the creation of this neighborhood garden -
http://web.mac.com/beowulf444/iWeb/City%20Farm/about%20us.html - the symbolism of regeneration and reconnection to creation has been powerful.
Though not directly involved in a major gardening operation, I do have a compost pile and have plants growing in my basement (the legal kind, mind you). Carrots are planted in my front yard, and I have plans to 'hire' youth from the neighborhood to help with fixing up the old parsonage where I stay. Being here has allowed for the intentional, yet subtle creation of relationships that wouldn't normally exist, especially I did not choose to live where I do. But that is part my answer to my own life's question, and I realize others have their own calling.
The struggles through theology and meaning can either lead to depression, or bring us to a place of peace. In the end, there is a deep need to trust in God, and in His version of restoration. There is little place for human ego. Our works must be a celebration of God's love for His world.
The difficultly lies not in understanding what the mission is, but in finding ways to bring it to fruition. I have found incredible peace in relishing in existence.
